The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter – And How to Make the Most of Them Now is a book that all 20-year-olds should read. This book is a reminder that although we are young, these are pivotal years for our futures and the decisions we make right now will impact us later on.
This book is written by a clinical psychologist, Dr. Meg Jay, who is urging “twentysomethings” to take advantage of their 20s to create the best future for themselves and family. Throughout the book, she references different ages and how as long as you are in your twenties, there is still time to set a foundation for your future.
Being close to graduation and moving on to the next phase of my life, I found this book to be very insightful, but I feel like any 20-something could relate and find the information in this book helpful.
Jay split the book into three parts beginning with work. The work section begins by talking about how we all need to be getting identity capital at this age. Identity capital is something you work for and progressively build on through jobs, experiences, and opportunities.
In the book she says, “Taken together, identity capital is what we bring to the adult marketplace. It is the currency we use to metaphorically purchase jobs and opportunities and other things we want.”
The next section in the part about work is about your weak ties, otherwise known as networking. This section is really about how it is important to create good relationships with people who are just acquaintances because they often bring more opportunities your ways than the people closest to you.
The next two parts of this book cover love, the brain and the body. In these sections, she explains how you get to pick your family through these ages and that is something you should take seriously and be mindful of early on with all of your partners. She also suggests how you should choose patterns and habits at this age that will benefit you for the long term because honestly the things you do at this age are probably what you will do for the rest of your life.
Jay gave a TED Talk and said, “30 is not the 20, so claim your adulthood, get some identity capital, use your weak ties and pick your family. Don’t be defined by what you didn’t know or didn’t do.” I think that quote perfectly sums up this book.
I would recommend this book for anyone who is in their 20s trying to navigate through this confusing age and trying to better themselves. These pivotal years are make or break for our futures, and I think this book gives some directions and reminders of what matters at this age. We are building our futures, and the decisions we make right now have the most impact on our success.
