Growing up without a dad, I watched my mom play both roles. She brought home the bacon and cooked it too, so to speak.
My mom did not have time to stay at home, but that was not her choice. As a result, I missed out on time with my her and the lessons that my father might have shared with me. So why is it such a big deal when a parent wants and is able to stay home with their children? More importantly, why is it such a big deal when the roles become reversed?
More often than not, mothers, especially new moms, are encouraged to stay at home with their child, which is great for the child/parent bonding and the healing process that takes place after giving birth, but shouldn’t the mother get a say in if she wants to stay home or not? After all, she had dreams and a career before the child and she should be able to continue after that child is born.
On the same note, why is it frowned upon when the father decides to stay home and raise the child rather than going straight back to work? Men are often looked at as the “bread winners” while women are “home-makers,” but it does not always have to be that way. Men are nurturing and loving, society just does not allow them to be viewed in that way because it masks their masculinity. Given the chance to stop suppressing their emotions without fear of being made to look like “less of a man,” men are capable of incredible things.
We are almost in 2018, but somehow the views of how parents should behave has not changed with the times. There is no reason to not allow fathers time off to bond with their newborn, or if they choose, to stay home with their child until they are older. Women are typically seen as the nurturers, but what about a woman in the peak of her career? How is it fair that she should have to sacrifice everything she worked for?
Occasionally, the child will have a stronger bond with one parent over the other. It can be beneficial for the child and parent with the lesser bond to spend more time together so they have a chance to build a strong relationship.
There are just so many factors that need to be considered before raising an eyebrow when seeing a man staying home with his children and before raising the same brow to the woman that chooses to work, rather than be a stereotype.
Raising a child is a full time job, not even throwing in housework, cooking, and still managing to have down time. While the option to stay home full time is not a possibility in some households, there still needs to be equal responsibility when the parents come home. A child is not a pet you can put food out for and not worry about it; both parents should share in the responsibility in raising the child, not one taking care of the child and house while the other unwinds on a daily basis.
Men and women are not confined to the boxes they have been put it and it is important to not judge them if the parents have reversed their roles. While it is merely a preference on who stays home and who works, there should not be any judgement passed when a man is staying home to raise his children and same goes for women who choose their career over staying home.
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