Long-distance relationships are no easy task for an individual to balance with student life.
Stages
- Departure
Of course, goodbyes are bittersweet as you know you’ll see them again, but it is the fear of uncertainty that swarms the mind. However, the distance apart depends on the severity of this goodbye. For some, it may be missing for a week until the weekend, or a month. Others it can be years. . . This phase tends to be difficult no matter what because you won’t be around your partner as easily now. The realization hits and you are suddenly alone and their familiar face isn’t in your reach anymore. Everything can feel a bit cold at first and not as interesting because that person isn’t there to make everything enjoyable.
- Random Miscommunications
You’re texting your lover and suddenly they misread what you meant. Texting doesn’t convey the tone of what you meant, so you add emojis! But sometimes emojis can seem passive-aggressive… what do you do now? Call them but wait they’re busy! Now you will have to wait until they are free. . . This is the dreaded phase where people get nervous about their relationship falling apart because there is misinterpretations and misunderstandings. However, this is the significant phase where you need to communicate, understand and be blunt. This stage actually makes you stronger as a couple and you learn important aspects about eachother.
- Getting used to it
Eventually, you start to understand your partner’s tendency with texting, their tone with emojis and start to get into the schedule of daily calls or check-ins. The individuality that you’ve built is getting easier while navigating through the inevitable miscommunications. There’s a routine both of you guys have built with a rhythm of understanding and communication. Things seem easier but there’s still the immense missing and wishing one could teleport.
- Near Meeting
Oh wow! Time has passed so fast soon you’ll get to see them again. The excitement builds up but so are your nerves because a mixture of emotions envelops you. Your mind is overwhelmed with anxiety and overthinking as if you were meeting them for the first time again.
- Meet!
Finally, the distance is closed! You get your lover in your arms once again and can enjoy the shared note list you made months ago of activities to do and events to go to. All the struggles, sleeping on call and working around schedules seem to be so small now in the scheme of things. The journey that felt like forever now feels like a new chapter is unfolding with a lot of fun adventures awaiting. Have fun!
Overall
These phases are difficult but trust they will make your relationship stronger as distance makes the heart grow fonder. The journey makes a solid foundation because if you did not break during these stages then your communication skills and understanding with each other are on point!
If you are currently struggling through a long-distance relationship here is advice that has helped tremendously in my long-distance relationship. My boyfriend is in a different country and we have to deal with a 14-hour time zone difference but we have made it work amazing so far!
Advice
- Communicate and Understand
You can communicate your needs, and say what is bothering you but both need to be understanding towards both perspectives. Set your boundaries as they are important to have: what are you comfortable with? How does an action make you feel? If your partner feels a certain way, understand from their point of view why they feel the way they do.
- IT TAKES TWO
The hard truth is a long-distance relationship will not work if you are the only one putting in the effort. It will have weird, difficult miscommunications that both parties will have to admit if they were wrong. If one is not working with the other, the relationship is doomed to fail . . . and this goes for any relationship no matter the distance.
- Be Blunt
Texts will be misunderstood because it all depends on our own current emotions and insecurities that will affect how we read the messages. If you’re hurt by what they said or misunderstood by what they said, say it to them. Things need to be communicated bluntly when it’s done over the phone because you and your partner are not in person to detect the microexpressions, feelings or other nonverbal cues.
- Get a life
You need to be an independent person with your own individuality and life to occupy your free time. It is not healthy to make a person your entire world and it certainly does not help with a long-distance relationship. You start to focus too heavily on what they are doing and centering a person to be your whole world is not healthy at all.
