You would be hard pressed to find a more difficult and demanding life than that of someone in the U.S. military.
The lives of military service members are marked by unpredictability, tumultuousness and constant change. This kind of lifestyle asks a lot of the service members themselves, and it especially asks a lot of their children. So-called “military brats” witness this tumultuous lifestyle firsthand and are given the task of reconciling with all of the changes that are constantly happening around them. This is something that Haley Heenan, a junior Spanish major at UT Martin, learned to make peace with.
“I got very used to packing and introducing myself and road trips and racing my brother into the house to pick out bedrooms. It felt normal to me and the constantly changing environment was fun,” Heenan said.
Because of her father’s military service, Heenan has lived in eight states throughout her 19 years of life. These states are California, Hawaii, New York, Pennsylvania, Washington state, Texas, Michigan and, of course, Tennessee. Although the constant moving was hard at times, Heenan still believes she was not deprived of a pleasant childhood.
“My childhood was a lot of fun. I remember it super fondly and it felt so normal at the time – mainly since we often lived on base with other families like us, so I wasn’t the only kid that was always moving,” Heenan said. “As crazy as it all is, I’ve loved moving all the time. Though, I’m not entirely sure if I love it because I love it or because it’s what I’m used to.”
It is indeed true that adapting is vital to this kind of lifestyle, especially since one is constantly exposed to new people, places and cultures.
“Everywhere is so different from everywhere else,” Heenan said. “It is always such a culture shock for the first few months of living somewhere new.”
Heenan also said that even education, something we usually think of as being pretty standardized, is handled differently depending on which state you visit. She says that while living in Hawaii she was taught pre-algebra in the fourth grade.
She also says she “never learned U.S. history there, only Hawaiian history. I genuinely had no idea who George Washington was until fifth grade because of this.”
Of all the culture she has experienced and all the places she has been, Heenan said that Washington state was her favorite place she’s lived thus far.
“I love the ambience of the state and the atmosphere of places like Seattle,” Heenan said. “Seattle is a beautiful city; you’d meet artists on the street that would trade you $15 for some of the most beautiful photography, gorgeously crafted sculptures, or intricately woven sweaters you’ve ever seen. It was a place of community and artistry and openness in a way that I’ve never seen in any other city.”
After having traversed a fairly big portion of the country, the question remains: How then does one wind up in Martin, Tennessee? Heenan says the answer’s pretty simple,
“Once Dad got out of the military, we weren’t sure where to go now that no one was ordering us anywhere, so we threw a dart at a map on the wall, no kidding, and landed in Selmer, Tennessee. Since then, we moved around Tennessee.”
Heenan says she’s in Martin primarily for school right now, but can easily see herself traveling again before long.
“I get antsy if I’ve been in one place longer than a few years now. I love traveling and seeing new places and meeting new people,” Heenan said.
Although she was able to find peace with and adapt to her situation, Heenan also said these experiences were not without their difficult moments.
“I think the hardest part of being in a military family and having to move so much is saying goodbye to the people you’ve grown close with,” Heenan said. “Not associated with moving, though, the hardest part of being in a military family was knowing that your, in my case, dad could be deployed at any time and when he was gone, missing him was awful.”
Unpredictability is the hallmark of life in a military family, and the loneliness that comes with having a family member deployed can definitely weigh heavily on everyone involved. This is why it is essential to have something that provides comfort, something that helps get you through those times at least a little easier. For Heenan, this is the world of theater.
“Theater was introduced to me in the sixth grade and I’ve loved it since,” Heenan said. “Since then, it’s been as much a part of me as my hair is.”
This passion for theater, combined with her unique opportunities to travel the country, have allowed Heenan the opportunity to actively pursue what makes her happy as well as obtain invaluable experience and practice with it. While in New York, Heenan was able to land a job over the summer working for the French Woods Festival of the Performing Arts as a costume designer. Although she had designed costumes for up to 14 shows that summer, it was the costumes for the show The Prom that received special attention.
“I had so much fun doing it, I’ve wanted to costume that show since I watched the movie years ago,” Heenan said. “It was awarded Best Costumes out of all 86 shows entered and I was really proud of it!”
Whether she’s designing award-winning costumes, gracing the stages of theaters all over the country, or just having fun on the stage of the Harriet Fulton Theatre at UT Martin, so long as Heenan is onstage, it doesn’t matter.
“I think that theater has helped me in life. It has taught me a lot of valuable lessons that I’m very grateful for. I would comfortably call theater my passion and there have been days that I’ve had no motivation for anything until I find myself inside a theater,” Heenan said.
Military life is hard, and that is surely an understatement. It is hard on everyone involved, not only the service members themselves. For the children of service members, a life of constant changes, unpredictability, loneliness and adversity become the norm. For anyone else in similar situations, Heenan offered some advice.
“Put yourself out there! As much as you can, even if it’s a little outside of your comfort zone. Meeting people that you’ll grow to love is what makes all of that worth it,” Heenan said.
“I’d advise them to stay loose and adaptive, but to find something to ground them. Find one thing that can be your focal point amongst all of that change and chaos. For me, it’s my family because it was always the four of us together,” she said. “Having even just one thing that stays the same throughout a life that only changes could be a lifesaver.”
