What is confidence? Merriam Webster defines confidence as, “a feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances.” An ego is almost the complete opposite in definition, “the self especially as contrasted with another self or the world.”
So now you may ask what the difference is. Confidence is comparing yourself today to your former self and comparing what you can or cannot do in your mind, to what you can actually do. A lot of people struggle with confidence because they feel that they cannot do something. This feeling of inadequacy comes from the lies of the “enemy,” as they get inside a person’s head. Confidence can easily be broken through and torn down, depending on the person.
This brings us to an ego, which is having too much confidence and beginning to put others down in order to lift yourself up. This ego is also a battle of self. Often, scapegoats are used as a catch-all. Egotistical people will use a “friend” and place all blame, typically fueled by deep-seated insecurities, onto this person. By placing all blame and faults on another, the ego of the proud is built into a wall of confidence that seems unbreakable.
Having a large ego will ultimately hinder a person’s social and personal life. Even so, having too little confidence can break them and send them into a cycle of depression and insecurity.
With this delicate balance, how is it possible to define the line and how does someone get their mind into the right state?
To have a healthy confidence is to have faith in yourself; believing you can do anything but also recognizing when to rely on others for help. With the “enemy” at play, an ego can set in quite quickly if a person becomes too interested in him or her self.
Unlike confidence, the ego operates out of self-interest. It seeks approval and validation at all costs, in order to be seen as “right.” However, as it seeks approval, it hides it’s need for that constant reassurance. The subtleness is vindictive and unfruitful. Usually in approval for a task of an ego-stricken victim, a person ends up tearing someone else down in order to seem superior. An ego is resistant to feedback and assigns motive where there isn’t any.
According to Fast Company, there are at least six habits that people undertake when an ego has overtaken their confidence.
- You listen to advice but rarely follow it.
- You never look for flaws.
- You try to do everything yourself.
- You see some things as being beneath you.
- You keep going even when you’re wrong.
- You alienate people over time, but you don’t know why.
“No matter where you are in life, there’s always someone who knows more,” says Fast Company. You have to choose to listen or you will never succeed at what you’re trying to do. An ego is overtaking and controlling. Don’t let it control you.
“There is a fine line between confidence and ego. Sometimes the line can be blurred. It can feel thin and wobbly, requiring one to adopt balancing tricks as if walking along the tight rope without the safety net,” said Leaders In Heel. “Here’s the difference: Ego acts as a repellent, while confidence draws people in like a magnet. Leaders need to build and exude confidence while keeping their ego in check at all costs.”
At the end of the day, there is a healthy medium that is possible to obtain while trying to stay ahead mentally and emotionally. Confidence will get you ahead if you use it in the right way with respect to others, but ego will only hold you back. Spotting the difference and reacting consequently is what will separate the smartest from the rest.
